You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
