if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
