My friends, they love my intelligence
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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