Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
