Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize