Yo dont text me then not text me
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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