I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize