Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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