We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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