I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
so much tequila, so little girl.
Randomize
