Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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