Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
