GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize