i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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