Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
