I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize