i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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