He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
