i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
