I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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