its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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