There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
this will be a night to untag.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
