If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
