Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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