when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
