I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
