I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Are we still banned from the library?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
