seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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