yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My penis needs a shock collar
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
