I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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