so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
