yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
