I hate your face
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
