I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
