): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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