I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
