please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize