Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
did you just send me my own nude
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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