I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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