My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
