you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
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I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
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He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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