I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
