I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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