Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
