think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
