So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
