I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
did you just send me my own nude
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
