"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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