If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
