Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
