Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
The air taste purple.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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