Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
