that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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