The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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