that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
