people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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