at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
