Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
