So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
