I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
