Need sex. Gaining weight.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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